i bet you love this don't you, oh i bet you love this

rumbleseat @ 2006-08-14T23:58:00

2006-08-15T04:02:48Z

well, tomorrow is my birthday.

i don't really care.
shit just isn't the same, and it isn't the way i feel like it should be. it's the day before my birthday, and i'm in a terrible fucking mood. i have my first day of class on my birthday, which inevitably makes everything suck dick that much harder, and shit just blows in general.

i've realized that i possess no skill at anything i do, whatsoever. nothing. riding bikes, nope. filming, nope. living life, nope. no skill at all. i can't do a fucking thing right, and that upsets me. i've rode bikes for like 3 years now, and umm, well, let's see, i can do like six things. woo. yeah. six. fuck that. i'd rather not do any of them.

fuck shit piss.
i just need a god damn break. for real. i need to get the fuck out of here.

rumbleseat @ 2006-08-09T02:46:00

2006-08-09T06:47:34Z

i was going to say something..

and then i realized it doesn't even matter anymore. none of you care at all about what i have to say.

rumbleseat @ 2006-07-16T03:08:00

2006-07-16T07:10:45Z

lakjdflaksdjf

fuck life.

shit just gets worse and worse every day. fuckpiss.

goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddammit.

rumbleseat @ 2006-07-05T01:35:00

2006-07-05T06:06:57Z

so, i agree with kayla, myspace has became the death of everything that is sacred to the interent. livejournal is dead.

i hate everything being so crypted, but who really gives a shit anymore. it's not like anyone reads these fucking journal entries anymore. no one really gives a shit about what gets said in them unless someone is like "oh god i'm so depressed" or "i think i'm going to slit my wrist and get in the tub."

so, here's yet another encrypted entry.

things are about to hit a fucking industrial sized steel fan, and said things are about to come hurling at mach 90 to hit me in the face. it could possibly be the precursor to .. i don't even know. i don't know how to explain it. i don't know if i even want to talk about it anymore. it just makes me totally want to change my name, and move the fuck away.

i know that's the pussy way out of things, but goddamn, it never fails for things to look up for exactley five minutes, and then it goes back to sucking more cock than joy the prostitute. seriously, just when everything looked really really fucking good for me, something of this magnituted comes into perspective and it makes me realize that things are neither a-okay, or are they going to be, and i have so much shit ahead of me to think about and to do.

but you say that you'll take care of it. i hope that's a promise. i just don't want to add more shit on your shoulders than you are already carrying. i don't possibly see how any of that could take weight off of them.

fuck. i just don't know what to do. i just really hope ups gets here with what i want friday or saturday. even though i'm sure they don't run on saturday. maybe that would make things better.

yeah.. right. for about five more minutes.

rumbleseat @ 2006-06-14T03:18:00

2006-06-14T07:19:46Z

god dammit. sometimes.. just--fuck.

forget it.

*walks like egyptian*

*backs up*

*dies*

rumbleseat @ 2006-06-04T01:59:00

2006-06-04T06:04:36Z

Damn it feels good to be a gangsta, a real gangsta-ass nigga plays his cards right and a real gangsta-ass nigga never runs his fuckin mouth, cause real gangsta-ass niggas don't start fights. And niggas always gotta high cap, showin' all his boys how he shot 'em, but real gangsta-ass niggas don't flex nuts, cause real gangsta-ass niggas know they got 'em. And everythings cool in the mind of a gangsta, cause gangsta-ass niggas think deep, Up three-sixty-five a year 24/7 cause real gangsta ass niggas don't sleep.

rumbleseat @ 2006-06-03T13:23:00

2006-06-03T17:25:01Z

yeah, the intraweb pretty much sucks. worse than anything really.

fuck myspace and stupid myspace people. hate that shit.

rumbleseat @ 2006-05-20T02:47:00

2006-05-20T06:48:23Z

i'm the same as i was when i was six years old, and oh my god, i feel so damn old that i don't really feel anything.

rumbleseat @ 2006-05-08T01:05:00

2006-05-08T05:09:02Z

and as night falls, we will stand tall, proud, but not sure why..

this is not a dream, this is not a game, i heard someone say "this is america the beautiful.."

blame the catholics, blame the cristians, blame the muslims, blame the jews..

blame your mother, blame your father, but blame never got anyone anywhere.

when i get the feelin' back in my hands, i promise i'll build some bridges across this land.

rumbleseat @ 2006-05-05T01:13:00

2006-05-05T05:14:12Z

i figure some of you might be interested in this.

i made a film. starring some of my friends, and myself. it's for my film class. here it is in sections. enjoy.

Beginning and Opening Credits- http://media.putfile.com/beginning-88
First Section - http://media.putfile.com/movie-1-17
Second Section - http://media.putfile.com/moviept2
Third Section and Credits - http://media.putfile.com/movie-part-3

leave me comments with what you think after you watch it.

rumbleseat @ 2006-04-29T01:12:00

2006-04-29T05:12:43Z

fuck.

you'll just never understand. never.

rumbleseat @ 2006-04-06T01:32:00

2006-04-06T05:37:48Z

well. i'm not sure half of you give a fuck about me anymore.. and i'm quite positive a few of you would rather never hear from me again, and if you're wondering if it's you, then yeah, it probably is.

anyway, i don't care. my grandpa died. just tonight. god damn.

fucking, things start to look up, then right back down.

rumbleseat @ 2006-03-11T08:08:00

2006-03-11T13:09:06Z

hrm. well.

fuck this. i'm going to louisville.

rumbleseat @ 2006-03-06T02:35:00

2006-03-06T07:40:26Z

it's kind of funny how it seems like people change in such little time, so fast. it's only been about a week, and i already feel like i've lost touch with you in about a thousand different ways.

i guess that's just how things go, right? i guess it's just another reason to get all tripped up walking across the room, and not want to get out of bed in the morning.

the more i think about it, the more i wish i could just leave the east coast entirely. a couple changes of clothes, my bike, and a camera and i'll be fine. honestly.

but then i wouldn't fit in over there either. maybe i should take up drinking and start doing pills. why not just be like everyone else, and then become just another face, just another kid in the crowd.

nah. i'll pass. i believe i have just a little bit more respect for myself than that. but this east coast deal isn't for me.

lo-behold.

i have more than enough money for food, and a one way ticket.

rumbleseat @ 2006-03-05T01:59:00

2006-03-05T07:00:38Z

god dammit.

*kills self*

sometimes i think people are just beyond lame. and aggrivating. really aggrivating.

rumbleseat @ 2006-03-01T01:21:00

2006-03-01T06:27:46Z

i fucking hate people sometimes.

sometimes they drive me goddamn insane. seriously. people go behind my back and fragment these stupid stories together to get people close to me hurt or mad. then, it makes me seem like a bad person. like i'm hiding something, or lying to someone. and they get all of this information from online. give me a fucking break guys. seriously. if you think i have something to hide, why the fuck would i post it up everywhere on the goddamn intraweb? seriously. if i have a secret, or i'm lying to everyone, why would i have it in out in the middle of the firing range, for anyone and everyone to read?

so to you people out there that are reading this, go tell everyone that i said this. go tell everyone i'm hiding secrets, and that i'm a liar, and all this other shit. go ahead. i dare you. i can promise it won't do a fucking thing. if i had skeletons, i damn sure wouldn't hang them out on the line to dry.

in other news. i went to ollies. it was fun. i'm still sore. i rode for six hours straight, from 11pm until five-fourty-five in the morning. fucking rad.

in other other news, i'm buying a camera. it's a toss up between a canon gl2 with a century optics .3x fisheye (death), or a trv950 with a century optics .3x fisheye (baby death) lens and some other goodies. i'll know by tomorrow which i'm getting. when i get it, expect pictures and footy.

until then. i'll be sure to hang the skeletons out to dry.. fuckers.

rumbleseat @ 2006-02-17T13:25:00

2006-02-17T18:26:19Z

shits hosed.

i got a cannon gl1, and it rains. i have no fisheye for it, which makes it virtually useless. i can't go to florence tomorrow because it's supposed to 'snow'. flajdfladflsdlaf

rumbleseat @ 2006-02-07T23:33:00

2006-02-08T04:33:35Z

name seven songs and tag seven people to do the same.

1. The Snake, The Cross, The Crown - The Sun Tells The Moon
2. Lagwagon - Bye For Now
3. Explosions In The Sky - Day 1
4. The Black Sea - Ghost Lanterns
5. Rainer Maria - Made In Secret
6. Texas Is The Reason - Back And To The Left
7. Pinback - Prog

i tag:
0ne_last_time
_babeonbroadway
indie0_ofreak
spikeydrew
venal_anatomica
all_mixd_up
___locust_reign

rumbleseat @ 2006-02-06T23:58:00

2006-02-07T05:01:10Z

i swear to fucking god. shit just keeps happening and happening.

look guys, if you're trying to fuck me out of my money, then i'm going to straight up sue the fuck out of you all. i'm poor enough as it is, but my school shit says that i'm owing 2000 dollars to you fuckers, and that's not right. YOU should owe me the $2900 dollars it shows on this page. i don't understand why it says i owe 743 dollars for kees money, and 2200 for financial aide. that is totally incorrect.

i wish people would stop trying to fuck me over. god damn, what do i have in my life that they want so fucking bad?

rumbleseat @ 2006-02-05T21:31:00

2006-02-06T02:32:35Z

fucking livid.

rumbleseat @ 2006-02-01T14:06:00

2006-02-01T19:11:49Z

sometimes when i sit down and think.. i realize that i probably lose more friends than i gain. i think back and see that over the past few months, a lot of my friends have stopped talking to me for some odd reason or another. which, i guess that's alright if that's how they want things. on the other hand, i look up and see that i've got a few really good friends who i'm super close with. i'm not sure enough to say that those two things cancel out or what they do, but it makes me think a lot.

i just hate losing people who i consider friends. it's just part of life i guess.

on the other hand, there are those people who just develop problems with you. the ones who talk about you behind your back and the ones who would act like nothing is wrong while you're around, but when you're out of the panoramic view, they feel like they're obligated to shit-talk on you. i guess maybe that's the only way they see they can handle their problem.

rumbleseat @ 2006-01-11T17:24:00

2006-01-11T22:26:34Z

i think it's really funny that when someone you think cares about you, and you care about tells someone that they're 'good at hiding secrets'. that's fucking awesome. really makes me want to trust you so much..

and you wonder why i'm so hateful. you wonder why i'm so goddamn angry all the time. i think maybe you're right.. maybe it's not me.

rumbleseat @ 2006-01-01T01:24:00

2006-01-01T06:26:40Z

ashley fuckin' frasher. why is your phone mentally uncapable of working right? why is it so physically unstable that it won't let me call you back? why? WHY!?

ps. i called you a good 10 times today. seriously. it would go back and forth between "the wireless customer is not available" and "your call cannot be completed at this time".

pps. set up your voicemail. jesus christ. hahaha

rumbleseat @ 2005-12-27T23:21:00

2005-12-28T04:30:04Z

you ever just take a step back away from everything and wonder who your real friends are? you ever wonder who would stand up for you and who you know would sit down in front of you? it's lame having to second guess who's who, and who's what when everyone that you're around you consider as your friend.

there's not really a lot to be anticipating. new years is going to suck. the first quarter of the year is going to suck. everything is going to suck a lot until i move the fuck out of here.

it's not really like this retarded ass journal is going to help anything either. it's not like it's doing anything to make life better.. and it's not like it's going to make new years or the rest of the year suck any less.

i think this year i'm focusing on nothing. i want to focus on school, and i want to focus on riding and that's it. i mean, why would i want to focus on school when all i'm doing is wasting my time here. none of my classes are going to count when i leave to go to lexington. none of them. i'll be wasting time out of my veterans benefits to go to a lame ass broke-fucking-leg school that tries to act like it's so scholarly. fuck that shit. it's nothing more than a bunch of middleschool classes for forty-year old people. it's hard to focus on riding when there is absolutley nothing to ride. i want to build something, but i don't have any money.. i want to go places, but it's the dead of winter and my parents aren't going to let me do shit.

today.. as in tuesday was the beginning of the first annual bmxboard road trip to austin, texas, and guess who didn't get to go? you're right. me. i have the next two weeks off school, which would be perfect.. and i have to stay at home. lame.

ain't life grand?

rumbleseat @ 2005-12-08T15:50:00

2005-12-08T20:52:53Z

as I begin to sink into this fate
that I have tried so hard to tread
while you sit with your magazines
your cigarettes
your apathy
as we continue downward into lukewarm discontent
descending side by side as retrospect and time
devour our thoughts and our long nights
with such civilized but brutal taste
in suffering and self disgrace
your disappointment paints your eyes a darker shade of brown
and your poor excuses reek of such expensive wine
while my replies of cowardice
get molded into forgiveness for everything you said
and everything you did i have failed to forgive you for
either i tried but i failed to forgive any aspects
of either fairweathered friend
how could these eyes ever forget those lustfull nights
seeing your lips pressed against theirs as i tried to forget
i tried but failed i begin to sink into this fate
that i have tried so hard to tread
because apparently i'm much too dense
your much too tired and oh so stressed
ignoring all these words that i am struggling to say
so put down your pill bottles put down
your glass of wine
put down all of your magazines and look me in the eye
and tell me that your happy
tell me this is what you wanted from me
because it's everything i have and everything i can afford
such curteous envy i tried
but i failed to forgive any aspects of either
she never said she wants it all
i bet she does
i bet she does